A Typical Morning

Scene: early morning. J is dressing.

A (entering the room): "How do I look?" (strikes a Madonna pose.)

J (looking at how A has put on his sweat pants and then his underwear): "Um... Aqualad ?"

**

A (placing a wooden cutout of a bat on the passenger side-view mirror of the car): "I want the car to be the bat car -- why are you laughing?"

**

A (shouting at imaginary passers-by): "Give it to the poor and be done with it!"

J (as they walk to the market): "So buddy; why do you want to be Ebenezer Scrooge?"

A: "Because he's more pleasant than being a pirate."

J: "Well, OK; that's true."

A (to real passer-by): "Humbug!"

Sometimes You Need the Whole Banana

Scene:  The backyard.  A is throwing plastic food all over the grass.

M (sword in hand):  "What are you doing?"

A (broadcasting more plastic produce):  "I'm putting peels on the ground so you'll slip."

V is for Vanquished

Scene:  J is baking beats and steaming beat greens.

A (charging through kitchen door with a paper sword):  "J, what does 'vanquished' mean?"

J:  "It means you beat someone; you've won.  Why?"

A:  "Because I've vanquished M and now he's dead; so I need you to help me drag him over to the burial blace."

J (looking out of the kitchen window, sees M lying on the ground with a paper sword over his breast):  "I see."

A:  "So I need your help."

J (with Sleeping Beauty designs in his head):  "I can fix it."  

(they walk through the garage and outside)

A:  "See.  He's dead."

J (bending over and puckering):  "Don't worry, I'll -- "

M (springing up):  "Ha ha!!  I tricked you!! I'm not dead!!" (smashes both J and A)

Let's All Go to the Poking Place

Scene:  Monday morning.  J and A are getting shoes on to go outside.  

A (sitting on couch while J put's on A's sock): "I'll take you to the poking place."

J (pulling on A's shoe):  "The poking place?  Where's the poking place?"   

A:  "It's where they poke you."

J:  "Where is this?"

A:  "Is's across W street.  I'll drag you there and they'll poke you.  They have guns and swords and then you'll be dead."  (laughs)

J:  "Why do you want to take me there?" (pulls up other sock)

A:  "Because you say 'Eeerrrrr!'"

J:  "So let me get this straight:  you want to drag me across the street to the poking place where people will poke me with swords and shoot me -- "

A:  "-- so you'll be dead --"

J:  "because I say 'Errr!' ?" (pulls on other shoe)

A:  "Yeah."

J:  "Buddy, there's -- "

A:  "-- easier ways to do that."

J (sits back on couch):  "When do I say 'Errr." ?

A (whispers):  "When I do something bad."  

J:  "So if you want me to not say 'Err!' you need to make good choices."

A:  "But they have swords..."

The Pirate Test

M has a cold. A was a little worried, so last night he was asking M if he was feeling better and leaving him plastic pirate doubloons. He also brought a glass of water.


We've allowed A to play with a plastic pirate's cannon. It's relatively benign; the cannon balls are more like maces, and the spring powering the cannon only shoots them about a foot. This is a test to see if he can refrain from shooting us or the cat. If he manages to pass this test -- which also includes not breaking the rowboat that came with it -- for his birthday he gets the Imaginext Pirate Ship. With working sails. And a battery of about six cannons.


Spring Break is almost over. Last week A had so much energy we walked something like ten blocks to the local high school. And back.

Santa's Helper

Scene:  the living room.  A has found a green mesh sack, has stuffed it with various play groceries, and is prancing around the living room in green sweats and a green shirt.

J:  "What are you doing?"

A:  "I'm Santa's helper."

J:  "Oh.  How are you helping Santa?"

A:  "I'm taking toys to all the children.  But not weapons."  (Thinks a little)  "The older kids get the weapons."


I didn't tell him that Christmas isn't for nine more months.

Today's Art

Here's a picture A made today on the iMac.

He's in a silly mood, so when I ask him to talk about the picture he strings together nonsense words. I suppose he'll grow up to be a Dadaist.