High Culture

SCENE ONE: A's room. He's been working on something secret using Tinker Toys. Tinker Toys are on a trail basis, as A) there's a weapons ban going on and B) last time the Tinker Toys were out, there was blood...


A: (easing door open) "OK, J, you can come in."

J: (looking around) "Whatcha working on?"

A: (indicating a collection of Tinker Toys on a small table with a wave of his hand): "Welcome to my museum. On display are some ancient weapons -- "

J: (suppressing a snort at this work-around)

A: "-- from the medieval times. This is an old sword that doesn't work any more. They would have held it like this... (demonstrates sword).

J: (beginning to protest) "Buddy, it's great that -- "

A: "And this is an old Japanese Katana... (demonstrates this sword in a style different from its European counterpart)

J: "Um..."

A: "And this is an ancient flintlock pistol. They would have taken the ammunition out of here (pantomimes using a rod to ram a charge wad and bullet down the pistol bore) and put it in here..."

J: "So, A..."

A: "Do you like my museum?"




SCENE TWO

A and J are having dinner (it is M's night out). The radio is playing the final Liebestod aria from Wagner's "Tristan und Isolde."

J: "...so they've both drunk a magic potion and they're deeply in love with each other, and there's been a fight and he's mortally wounded."

A: "Is he dead?"

J: "Oh no; he's dying from mortal woulds and she's holding him in her arms while she sings about how they'll be Eternally United in the Hereafter." (Mimes singing High Opera at the dinner table and lip syncs with the soprano.)

A: "Oh J; shhh."

The dinner progresses while Isolde sings about "Love Death." The final notes fade away.

A: "J, I... I don't like this song." (Burst into tears)

J: "A, A, what's the matter?"

A by this time has turned read and is still crying.

J: "Are you crying because Tristan is dead?"

A (emphatic nodding)

The Wagner opera comes to and end.