A Typical Morning

Scene: early morning. J is dressing.

A (entering the room): "How do I look?" (strikes a Madonna pose.)

J (looking at how A has put on his sweat pants and then his underwear): "Um... Aqualad ?"

**

A (placing a wooden cutout of a bat on the passenger side-view mirror of the car): "I want the car to be the bat car -- why are you laughing?"

**

A (shouting at imaginary passers-by): "Give it to the poor and be done with it!"

J (as they walk to the market): "So buddy; why do you want to be Ebenezer Scrooge?"

A: "Because he's more pleasant than being a pirate."

J: "Well, OK; that's true."

A (to real passer-by): "Humbug!"

Sometimes You Need the Whole Banana

Scene:  The backyard.  A is throwing plastic food all over the grass.

M (sword in hand):  "What are you doing?"

A (broadcasting more plastic produce):  "I'm putting peels on the ground so you'll slip."

V is for Vanquished

Scene:  J is baking beats and steaming beat greens.

A (charging through kitchen door with a paper sword):  "J, what does 'vanquished' mean?"

J:  "It means you beat someone; you've won.  Why?"

A:  "Because I've vanquished M and now he's dead; so I need you to help me drag him over to the burial blace."

J (looking out of the kitchen window, sees M lying on the ground with a paper sword over his breast):  "I see."

A:  "So I need your help."

J (with Sleeping Beauty designs in his head):  "I can fix it."  

(they walk through the garage and outside)

A:  "See.  He's dead."

J (bending over and puckering):  "Don't worry, I'll -- "

M (springing up):  "Ha ha!!  I tricked you!! I'm not dead!!" (smashes both J and A)

Let's All Go to the Poking Place

Scene:  Monday morning.  J and A are getting shoes on to go outside.  

A (sitting on couch while J put's on A's sock): "I'll take you to the poking place."

J (pulling on A's shoe):  "The poking place?  Where's the poking place?"   

A:  "It's where they poke you."

J:  "Where is this?"

A:  "Is's across W street.  I'll drag you there and they'll poke you.  They have guns and swords and then you'll be dead."  (laughs)

J:  "Why do you want to take me there?" (pulls up other sock)

A:  "Because you say 'Eeerrrrr!'"

J:  "So let me get this straight:  you want to drag me across the street to the poking place where people will poke me with swords and shoot me -- "

A:  "-- so you'll be dead --"

J:  "because I say 'Errr!' ?" (pulls on other shoe)

A:  "Yeah."

J:  "Buddy, there's -- "

A:  "-- easier ways to do that."

J (sits back on couch):  "When do I say 'Errr." ?

A (whispers):  "When I do something bad."  

J:  "So if you want me to not say 'Err!' you need to make good choices."

A:  "But they have swords..."

The Pirate Test

M has a cold. A was a little worried, so last night he was asking M if he was feeling better and leaving him plastic pirate doubloons. He also brought a glass of water.


We've allowed A to play with a plastic pirate's cannon. It's relatively benign; the cannon balls are more like maces, and the spring powering the cannon only shoots them about a foot. This is a test to see if he can refrain from shooting us or the cat. If he manages to pass this test -- which also includes not breaking the rowboat that came with it -- for his birthday he gets the Imaginext Pirate Ship. With working sails. And a battery of about six cannons.


Spring Break is almost over. Last week A had so much energy we walked something like ten blocks to the local high school. And back.

Santa's Helper

Scene:  the living room.  A has found a green mesh sack, has stuffed it with various play groceries, and is prancing around the living room in green sweats and a green shirt.

J:  "What are you doing?"

A:  "I'm Santa's helper."

J:  "Oh.  How are you helping Santa?"

A:  "I'm taking toys to all the children.  But not weapons."  (Thinks a little)  "The older kids get the weapons."


I didn't tell him that Christmas isn't for nine more months.

Today's Art

Here's a picture A made today on the iMac.

He's in a silly mood, so when I ask him to talk about the picture he strings together nonsense words. I suppose he'll grow up to be a Dadaist.

Burning Desire for Math

J made a compass for A the other day.

A seemed pretty intereseted in it, and even helped search for the drill bits needed for the compass's construction.

He made a few circles.

And then the compass became "art."

And later a torch.

Inventive Days

I thought the days of invention were over. 

When he was a little over a year until just recently there would be days when A would try to see if a wooden block could be used as a pen to write on the cat.  Or the days when cat kibble would be pushed between a door to open it.  Or a lid to the shape sorter would be tiddly-winked into an electrical outlet to make the Matrix move.  Or (the most usual) objects that seemed to be indestructable would have their hidden seam, screw, hasp, or weak point instantly discovered and the object would be scattered across three rooms.

He hasn't been doing that latelly.  So, you can imagine my surprise and dismay when I discovered that the knocking noises I heard in the bathroom were A painting the bathroom.  Brown.  With a toilet brush.  Straight from the toilet.  That he'd just been sitting at.  

"But I wanted to make stew," he said after I came down from high parental orbit.

Yes, it's what you're thinking.  

Video Games

Scene:  The library.  A is playing an educational game on one of the computers.

J:  "OK, A; when the timer on the computer goes to zero in ten minutes, you have to stop playing the game."

A:  "Why?"

J:  "Because the Fearful Parent Magazine says if you play too many video games you'll become a thug pushing a shopping cart instead of a doctor from Harvard."

A returns to game.  

Distant Birthday Plans

A recently received a toy knight-king (and a horse), which he likes a lot -- probably because it came with a sword.

He likes the knight so much that this year for his birthday (in June) he wants to have a Knights and Pirates Party.  

When I asked him if he wanted the Pirates to look for old Mediaeval Treasure, or if he wanted the Knights to find a Pirate Treasure, he replied that he wanted the Pirates to find New Pirate Treasure.  

I'm not sure what the Knights were supposed to be doing. 

Luckily, at the SRF last year there were a lot of pirates and knights; so I'm sure we can do a similar event.

The Kid Virus

... has hit.  A has enough energy to be a crazy destructive ball of disgusting fluids.   

It's times like this when I wish there was an incubator or whatever that I could put him into so he could sleep the illness off (which is what he needs right now) and come out a nicer kid (and cleaner, too).

-- 

In other health-related news, last week's procedure went well.  A is experimenting with different voice sounds that we've haven't really heard in a year.

February HiJinx

A decided that we needed to have a Pirate Valentine tree.




A couple of weeks ago we had "Cocoa with Christ."




And A learned how to ski.